Success! (and Frustration!)

At last, after 3 weeks of solid gains, I had a major loss this week -- 3 whole pounds. Now I'm back where I was a month ago, LOL. The trick is going to be how to make sure that that loss continues next week. One thing I did differently this past week was really work to get my milk in each day. I'm not a big milk drinker, and have tended to get my dairy from other sources, like cheese. And cheese is a less-good option than skim milk (Fat, constipation, bloating). I also have tried to ensure that I get at least 2 tsp. of "good" oils every day. My oil of choice is olive -- I use it for cooking whenever possible. I use canola when the olive oil taste would be instrusive. So, for the next week, my goal is going to be to ensure that I follow all of the healthy guideliness from Weight Watchers.

Much later this evening.... Chickadee #2 is still awake at 10:28 pm. I wish I had a HUGE PIECE of Death by Chocolate cake right now. It wouldn't make me feel better (and might make me feel sick), but I could turn the anger and frustration I'm feeling against myself -- at least then it would have an object. Death by chocolate indeed!

Works for Me Wednesday -- behavior modification with ditalini

I've been reading WFMW for a year or so now, and I'm so excited to be posting my very own tip!

So, if you have a preschooler who has MAJOR trouble listening but who is motivated by strange things, this is the tip for you.

Have a discussion with the preschooler after a temper tantrum resulting from not being able to go to the playground after school because she has ballet in 40 minutes (or similar situation). The discussion is about TRUST. "See, Chickadee #1, I can't let you go to the playground after school because I can't trust that you will come with me when I call. How can we build trust? I know, let's build ourselves a "trust bank".

Get yourself a formula dispenser (the kind with three wells). Label one well Neutral, one well More Trust, and one well Less Trust. Get yourself some ditalini or other small pasta (elbow macaroni would also work). Fill the Neutral well to the brim. Explain to recalcintrant preschooler that she will be allowed to go to the playground after school or other fun activity only when the ditalini in the More Trust well are more numerous than those in the Less Trust well.

Watch the behavior improve. Watch the preschooler ask "Do I get a ditalini?" after good behavior and do a victory dance when the answer is yes. It's key, however, to just add ditalini to the Less Trust well at bad behavior without making a huge production of it -- otherwise, you'll get into a power struggle and invite a tantrum.

Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?

I'm a veteran reader of weight-loss books. If you could get thin by reading, I would have no problems. One of my recent favorites is Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat? by Peter Walsh. The premise of the book is that many of the clients that Peter Walsh, a professional organizer, works with have problems keeping many areas of their lives under control -- weight is just one of them. A cluttered home and a cluttered body are evidences of a cluttered mind, and Walsh's premise is that if you get your mind straight, both your home and your body will follow.

Great premise. And I was seriously demonstrating the obverse yesterday and today. After my husband left for a week-long business trip, I started working on an assignment for work that needed to be completed yesterday. I hadn't started it because we had had a very busy weekend (birthday party to be attended by chickadee #1, graduation party for my fabulous nephew later the same day, birthday party for my husband (who turned 40!) on Sunday, dinner out with the family, then home so hubby could pack.) And I wanted to finish this assignment bright and early because my babysitter was coming at 12:30 so I could go swimming. I had to run out to the post office with the chickadees to pick up a registered certified nastygram from MOMS Club International (an organization with which I am no longer affiliated, so I refuse to link to them or to use the "circle R" they keep telling members they must use at every mention of the sacred name. No, I'm not bitter.) At any rate, when I arrived home, chickadee #2 was acting like the 2 year old she is and insisting that I give her my keys. I kept them away from her and continued working. When the babysitter arrived two hours later, I grabbed my keys.... No, wait -- my keys were not in their spot. I started looking. Couldn't find them. Couldn't find them. COULDN'T FIND THEM!!!

The babysitter stayed with the chickadees and I was able to finish my report, so at first, I chalked up the key disappearence to my higher power telling me that I should stay home and do my work. Later, though, my higher power and I had some serious disagreements because I STILL COULDN'T FIND MY KEYS. Car keys, house keys, access cards for the pool, teeny flashlight. A huge bundle.

We tore the house apart (and I live in a very small house). No keys. Desperation set in. I pictured being stuck in the house until Friday, when my husband returned with the extra set of keys. We had no groceries. We needed other things. The children need excursions to keep me sane. We all went to sleep last night with a very unhappy mommy and children who added helpful things like "I saw your keys in the bag of crayons." and "I hide them under the table."

Anyway, we woke up this morning and started looking again. I decided that the best thing to do would be a grid search, like they have on nifty police procedurals like Law and Order: SVU. I wrote up a list of all possible places to look, room by room -- as in, Living Room: couch, under, beside, behind. Shelves in LR --1, 2, 3, 4, 5. ... Dining room, corner table, on, beside, behind, inside... and then went through the places that had not already been searched bit by bit. Luckily, I started in the kitchen. And I found my keys, in a teacup in "Corner Cabinet, Shelf 2." I wish I'd followed my desire last night to have a nice soothing cup of tea.

A friend of mine told me last month (when I misplaced my pool access cards for three days and prayed fervently to St. Anthony for aid) that St. Anthony obviously wanted me to find not only the access cards but also something else, and I needed to figure out what that was. I thought to myself, and maybe even said, "Yeah, he wants me to find my sanity." Well, I guess the lesson was not learned, so the patron saint of the lost needed to give me a refresher. Lesson learned, dear St. Anthony. The first thing I did this morning was to order a remote control key finder from e-bay.

Sisterly Advice

After I wrote the first entry or two of this blog, I sent the address to my three amazing sisters, L., M., and K. They are wonderful -- my best friends from childhood through adulthood -- always there, always supportive, always honest, always insightful, always funny, always fun. After my husband, they're my biggest supporters, as I am theirs. I thought they all had really relevant things to say.



First, my big sister, L., emailed me to say:

Your blog is interesting and a neat idea. I don't know why there are contradictions like self sabotage in our lives..what is it that keeps one from "just doing it" Nike has marketed this truth everywhere and I along with everyone else in the world wishes that it were that easy. It is not, but then again nothing worthwhile is easy anyway. There are lots of things that each person struggles with... weight is just one of many hangups we humans deal with. I think it is good that you can identify the facts that surround your self sabotage and maybe that will start some self actualization...who knows. I say do what works...if a blog helps so be it. However, you are a bright person and one thing you could easily let go of is the idea of wasting. Eating out is wasting money...eating candy and cake is just wasting time. If you want it eat it -but keep in mind that you will have to answer to your actions. In other words, you will have to "pay up". If you eat the cake, be willing to walk the mile or whatever you do to burn the calories...on the same day. I guess it is about being accountable to oneself. That is a life journey. One other thing I'd like to suggest is to. stop looking in your past...it is gone. Instead be happy that is was part of your past. You never know what great things might come in the future and that is where you need to set your sights. Instead of looking at what you were, start planning for what you will be... it is not OK to look back and say I did that ...instead think about the great stuff you did and figure out ways that you will do it better in the future. I don't know how to post to a blog but if you want you can put this on the page.

My next youngest sister, M., emailed me all the way from Paris to say:

I like your blog and it's title Wrecklamation - very clever! I also think it is a very good idea for the work you wish to do on yourself. I was touched by what you wrote, so thanks for sharing. It seems that one can become a "follower" of blogs, but I think I have to set up an account with google or something. In any case I plan to follow it - I like the way you write.

Finally, my youngest sister, K., said:

I don't know how to get "into" the blog to write, if that is what you are supposed to do but I wanted to tell you, you look beautiful in the pic. None of us will ever look like 20 somethings again, BUT we can be healthy, happy beautiful 40 somethings. I hear ya and relate all too well. I am hoping to enjoy my approaching 40's and I know I won't be able to unless I get my mind and body in the right place. It sucks to give up cheese steak and cheesecake but I think I'll like squeezing into a 12/14 more than I enjoy squeezing that grease and fat into my belly! I will pray for you and encourage you, you can do it!!!!

Thanks to all my sisters for their support. I love you all.

And I do actually have a brother, who is also the most wonderful brother a person could have. I haven't told him about the blog yet because he's been out of town. Was going to do it at lunch today, but he cancelled on me. He's still the most wonderful brother a person could have.

Nerves

Today is my first weigh-in day since starting this blog. I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't nervous. While I've stuck completely to my points this week (with the exception of Monday's cheeseburger debacle, which was within my weekly bonus points range), I confess I have only been deep water running once (40 minutes of blissful cardio in peace). But I have not been drinking water (WW now allows you to count all fluids, not just water, towards your daily 64 oz total, but I do think that water is best) or paying huge attention to the healthy guidelines. I HAVE been better about tracking, which is good. So it was not a great week, but not a terrible week -- and I have a feeling that the scale is going to show it.

I've been fighting a rearguard action since starting WW in January (yes, I've wasted six months on this, losing and gaining the same 5 pounds). I'm frustrated and need to shake something loose. That's one of the reasons I started this blog -- as a way to motivate myself and introduce an element of "oh no -- someone else is looking at how I'm doing." The question remains, though -- why I can't motivate myself for MYSELF.

More on that later, I hope, after I go to the meeting. I'm sure I'll have a lot to say then.

Planning ahead

Last night, I went to a local restaurant with the chickadees to participate in a fundraiser for chickadee #1's school (15% of all proceeds from the meals sold between x and y time would go to the school). The restaurant specializes in eggs, breakfast foods, crepes, and American sandwiches -- very yummy. However, I didn't plan ahead by looking at their menu online (the last time I was there, I was told that they didn't bill their food as healthy, so they didn't make nutritional information available -- red flag!!!). I should have looked. If I had, I would have found that now they do publish their nutritional information and I wouldn't be suffering eater's remorse this morning.

The fundraiser was such a smashing success that our party of nine had to wait for almost an hour for a table, and we ended up being separated anyway because they didn't actually have a table for nine! I sat in a booth with my girls and my friends' two girls, who are a bit older than mine. Super hungry children + waiting a LONG time for a table + very crowded restaurant + "let's get this show on the road; it's past bedtime" = me ordering the first thing that looked good on the menu. A lovely cheeseburger and french fries. And I can attest that it was very good and I enjoyed every single bite and was sorry when they were gone.

I'm not so sanguine this morning after figuring out the damage I did -- calories = 1429, fat = 79 g., fiber = 8 g. for a grand total of 34 points for the cheeseburger ALONE (at least I think so -- I've emailed the restuarant chain to ask whether the information is for the whole meal (burger and fries) or just for the burger). People, that's more points than I get for a day. Thank heavens I wasn't tempted by dessert!

This situation is one the reasons I love WeightWatchers. I have 35 weekly points that I can add to my daily points for special occasions. This qualifies. I could wallow in self hatred and remorse (why didn't I have the grilled cheese with tomato bacon and cheddar (11 points) or even the asparagus and swiss omelet (21 points)). But I didn't plan ahead. And I enjoyed the meal. Moving on.

Chicken a la Carte

This short movie, Chicken a la Carte, won the People's Choice award at the Green Unplugged Online Film Festival. Moving. Disturbing. Shaming.